Black Dagger Brotherhood: Zsadist, son of Ahgony
Zsadist, the firstborn son of Ahgony and the Chosen Naseen, was kidnapped by his nanny at the age of 7 months, and after the nanny’s death he was sold into slavery. After his transition changed him into a large, powerful looking male, his mistress kept him in a cell ready to be used for blood and sex and even shared him with other males.
It took his twin Phury a century to find and rescue him, but their escape via the ocean sealed a scar on Z’s face. He later added body piercings, possibly because he liked the pain. The slave band tattoos around his neck and wrists are also permanent because salt was added to the ink.
He returned to the mistress’s home because he’d heard that she had taken another blood slave, and killed her, taking her head as a reminder that she is dead and he will not be used again.
Z and Phury lived a nomadic life until they met Darius, who then introduced them to Wrath as potential Brothers around 90 years ago, but neither of them were in the right place to become warriors. Fifteen years later Z brought a dying Phury to Darius, who then called Wrath to perform last rites. Wrath noticed that although Z’s body was sweating and shaking from the thought of losing Phury, his face and eyes were completely disconnected from it.
Phury lived and they joined the Brotherhood not long afterwards, but no one was really all that comfortable around Z because he was unpredictable and hostile. Even though he was no longer a slave, he never bought anything, slept beside the skull of his former mistress in a pallet of blankets on the floor of his unheated room, and lived off apples and human blood. There were also rumours that he had a habit of killing females, which made it easy to believe that, when the lessers were laying out bloodied humans to bait vampires, Zsadist was responsible for the human deaths. He was also misheard saying he’d be willing to kill Wrath for free. He seems to take special pleasure in keeping females at a distance.
But his singing voice is pure heaven to hear.
He met Mary’s neighbour and friend Bella at Mary’s party at the mansion. She was instantly attracted to him, but his experiences made him afraid of closeness and he ultimately rejected her. He was so rattled by the encounter with Bella that he asked Phury to hit him until the pain drove out all other feelings and he could move on.
Very soon after the party, Bella is kidnapped by then-fore-lesser Mr. O, who wants to recreate his last abusive human relationship with her.
Zsadist then becomes obsessed with rescuing her—even though it doesn’t seem likely she would still be alive 6 weeks after her abduction—and tortures lessers for information before killing them. A civilian male escapes with information on Bella’s location, and Zsadist rescues Bella and sees to her immediate care.
Bella doesn’t want to leave him because she remembers how fierce he was and decides she needs someone that strong to save her. Z is attracted to her but hates himself for his reaction—his shame over sex is so strong that he refers to his penis as the “it” or “the bastard”.
Because his care of Bella is so out of character for him, Phury is instructed to watch over him and develops feelings for Bella as well. Z sees Phury as the male he could have been if he weren’t so contaminated from what had been done to him, so he tries to push Bella onto his twin. But she knows she only wants Zsadist, and her need to feed brings out his protective instincts and enables an intimacy he wouldn’t be able to stand with anyone else. Their relationship seems to stem from a need to be free from the effects of their captivity.
Although Zsadist has bonded with Bella, their sex life reaches a block, but conveniently enough Bella becomes fertile, which requires Zsadist to alleviate her intense suffering with his body. It’s only then that he is able to let go of the past, but he still believes that Bella will change her mind about being with him because he sees himself as largely worthless as he doesn’t know how to read or cook or do anything but fight.
To get what he thinks is the inevitable breakup out of the way, Zsadist feeds from a whore in front of Bella and she leaves, only to return when she hears that he is injured in a fight with the lessers. He again sends her to feed Phury, who is also injured and wants her.
Mr. O calls the Brotherhood and demands that Z meet him alone, to which he agrees, because if he can’t have Bella, then the next best thing is to wipe out the piece of shit who hurt her. He explains this to Wrath and Phury and makes Phury swear that he will stay with the Brotherhood no matter what happens to Z.
Instead Phury drugs Z, shaves his own head, scars his own face, and meets the lesser in Z’s place, telling Z that he is needed there. When Z comes to, he asks Bella to track Phury via her blood and finally understands the impact his pain has had on Phury when he sees his twin chained down and beaten, needing to be saved. As a result of the drugs Phury gave him, he is too weak to defeat the lesser, so Bella shoots and kills him.
In the clinic, while recovering from their injuries together, Z for the first time reaches out to Phury and promises not to make his twin hurt him and to start taking care of himself. He also volunteers to teach the pretrans males how to fight to lighten Phury’s load and asks Mary to teach him how to read.
Two months later, Bella returns to the mansion to tell Zsadist that she is carrying his young and notes the changes he has made. They are mated soon afterwards and this time Wrath notes that while his hands are shaking, Z is well aware that he is nervous and is no longer so disconnected from his emotions. Z may never be completely normal, but he is well on his way.
Z took John Matthew under his wing when he was being bullied by Lash before their transitions and to deal with JM’s rising temper, Wrath instructed him to meet with Z every morning before dawn to take a quiet walk together. JM doesn’t realise just how much they have in common.
Phury falls into a decline and his addiction to red smoke grows stronger. So along with the fear of losing Bella, Zsadist is afraid that Phury will kill himself with drugs or during a fight and Phury’s broken promises make him angry with his twin because he doesn’t know how to help him and feels powerless. He isn’t always the most sympathetic to Phury, possibly because Phury’s crappy childhood was nothing to his and Phury grew up with the father who had given up on finding Zsadist.
They reconcile with the birth of his daughter Nalla and Phury’s mating to Cormia, but has trouble adjusting to fatherhood. Nalla’s birth is problematic and, believing she was about to die, Bella asks Jane to save Nalla. She wants to make sure that if anything happens to her, then Z wouldn’t be alone, but he believes that in her final moments, all Bella cared about was the child, a misunderstanding supported by her dedication to motherhood. His distance leads Bella to think he doesn’t find her post-pregnancy body attractive. His nightmares include his daughter witnessing what was done to him and he keeps his distance from her, as well, to avoid contaminating her with his past. Bella is on the brink of leaving with Nalla when an injury sidelines Z from fighting and they actually talk and shift their focus back to each other and their daughter.
